The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
The line graph depicts information about inquiries received in three categories in the first 6 months of 2011 in the Tourist Information office. Categories of in-person and by-telephone exhibited similar changes. In the first 3 months, the number of using in-person communication saw a significant increase which is from above 400 to roughly 800. Meanwhile, in that period, telephone services fluctuated mildly between 800 and 1000 conversations. In the next month, amount of in-person services rose dramatically to slightly above 1200 and consistently kept growth of it and in the
last
month reached a peak of approximately 1800 questionnaires.
However
, by-telephone conversations remained steady in April, which was 1000 and noticeably rose to 1400. In the following year, the figure for
this
type of inquiry soared sharply to 1600.
In contrast
, the way of communicating by letter or email decreased over the years. In January, the figure for
this
communication was below 800. In the next 4 months, the decreasing trend continued consistently, starting with about 750 and finishing with approximately 400 questionnaires.
However
, in the
last
month, the number of users of letters and emails remained steady.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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