The graph below shows levels of online shopping by age group for different times of the day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows levels of online shopping by age group for

different times of the day.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main

features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph explains the level of online shopping by
age
group
for different times of the day in 2015.
Overall
, the
proportion
of
sales
of 16
years
to 59
years
peaked the most between 6pm and 8pm onwards.
On the other hand
, the
proportion
of
sales
over 60
years
peaked the most between 9am and 12pm.
Firstly
, the
proportion
of
sales
of all
generation’s
Change noun form
generations
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using online shopping rose from before 9am to 12pm. The
proportion
of
sales
of all
generation’s
Change noun form
generations
show examples
using online shopping fluctuated between 12pm and 4pm. The
proportion
of
sales
of all
generation’s
Change noun form
generations
show examples
fell after 6pm.
Secondly
, the percentage of online shopping between the ages of 35 to 45
years
dipped between 12pm and 4pm, and
this
recovered between 2pm and 8pm. Compared with
this
, the
proportion
of online shopping between 25 to 34
years
had the same fluctuation in the graph. The
proportion
of
sales
of 16- to 24-year-olds rose between 9pm and 8pm. People between the ages of 16 and 59 did the most online shopping between 6pm and 8pm,
whereas
sales
in the 60+
age
group
peaked earlier, between 9am and 12pm. In the 16-59
age
bracket,
sales
increased from 9am to 8pm,
while
in the 60+
age
group
, they declined between these times. Across the generations,
sales
increased from before 9am to 12pm.
While
in all other
age
groups,
sales
continued to rise, in the case of the over 60s they declined dramatically from 20% at 12pm to only 10% at 2pm. In the 35-44
age
group
,
sales
rose from before 9am to 9am, before levelling out at around 15%. In that
age
bracket,
sales
rose sharply from 4pm
,
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apply
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to peak at 30% at 6pm.
This
same fluctuation pattern was mirrored in the 25-34
age
group
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, proportion, sales, years, pm with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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