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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Government could better spend this money on other things to benifit the nation. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#money #space #exploration #waste #government #benifit #nation
There is no valid reason to squander resources on
space
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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. I totally disagree with
this
 view. Learning about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer
space
 has broadened humankind's knowledge and led to many new technological achievements. Even in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
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 century, still many believe that resolving earth-related problems must be the
merely
Change the adverb
mere
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 motivation of scientists.
This
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These
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 narrow-minded individuals have no idea as to the benefits of the
space
 explorations. Owing to the
space
-wanderer brilliant minds, we have obtained invaluable
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about
space
, and it is expected to continue. Take the black holes as an example. These distant and unique entities contributed to physics massively. Without
methiculous
Correct your spelling
meticulous
 observations, we could not have updated our modern physics knowledge. Countless technological
device
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devices
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,
furthermore
, have been discovered
by
Change preposition
with
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 the help of
space
 programs. Since these researches are carried out with cutting-edge technology, a surprise invention can be found anytime.
Microwave
Correct article usage
The microwave
show examples
 oven,
for instance
, was invented accidentally by American
space
 researchers, or quantum computer, which is expected to be the dominant founding of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind, is the result of advanced physics.
Hence
,
space
 works have never been only about planets or faraway stars. In conclusion, knowing about
space
 has improved not only our knowledge but
also
 our technology.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
To improve task response, provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt by addressing potential counterarguments. Additionally, further elaboration on each point would help in demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother flow between ideas. While there is a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, the transitions between paragraphs could be more seamless. Working on variety in sentence structures can enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear stance on the topic, providing a foundation for strong arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the essay, reinforcing the writer's position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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