Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solutions can you suggest?

It is well known that many violations are made by people who
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
under the influence of
alcohol
. It is believed that the most relevant way to quit
this
is to restrict
alcohol
at all. There are numerous reasons and there are certain measures to be taken to resolve the problem.  As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was mentioned at the beginning, one of the most working solutions is to ban hard
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
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. Because of harms not only
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
who consumes it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
who surround him or her.
However
, it is obvious that it is nearly impossible to block it fully.
Nevertheless
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
ought to minimize
alcohol's
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alcohol
show examples
consumption. If someone can't fully cut it from their diet,
then
allow him or her
drink
Fix the infinitive
to drink
show examples
it only
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parties or important events.  Another solution is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to educate the community and make them aware
about
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of
show examples
the danger and how drinking
alcohol
can negatively influence themselves
as well as
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. There can be invented programs,
courses
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and courses
show examples
, which should be presented at schools, offices, communities, and other work-clouded places.
Consequently
, individuals will understand
an
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the
show examples
impact and
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
likely to stop or even diminish drinking. To sum everything up, it is discovered that there are myriad
of
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apply
show examples
ways to solve
this
issue. My view is that the major responsibility for solving
this
problem lies with
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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relevant specific examples
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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively developed. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines your main points, and your conclusion summarizes your arguments while restating your opinion.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue of alcohol consumption and crime.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have included some good ideas on how to tackle alcohol-related crimes through government action and public education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • consumption of alcohol
  • effective measure
  • ban alcohol
  • contribute to
  • types of crimes
  • other solutions
  • reduce the crime rate
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • stricter law enforcement
  • penalties
  • support
  • rehabilitation
  • alcohol addicts
  • root causes of crime
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