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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2915. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compar

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2915. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compar
#information #percentage #women #education #five #countries #years #summarise #features #compar
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The bar graph illustrates the data about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 going into higher education in the UK, the USA, Australia, South Korea, and France in the years 1980 and 2015.
Overall
, it is clear from the chart that every nation had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in percentage.
Moreover
, Australia had the biggest
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
,
while
 South Korea had the smallest fraction for both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. In 1980, Australia was in the first place with just under 60% and
this
 number stayed the same in the
year
 2015.
Additionally
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States with approximately 40% in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1980 and had
rose
Change the verb form
risen
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 and reached
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak point exactly like
Austalia
Correct your spelling
Australia
show examples
 in the years 1980 and 2015. For the UK, the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in the
year
 1980 was about 35%
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the second lowest per cent for all
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 in that
year
, but in the
year
 2015,
this
 number
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20% and joined to top 3
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 that had the biggest proportion. South Korea with 15% in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1980, had
grew
Change the form of the verb
grown
show examples
 up to exactly twice in number in 2015,
whatever
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the smallest in
this
 graph for both years.
Finally
, France with a half in per cent in 1980, uplifted to roughly 55% in the
year
 2015.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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