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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 4

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 4
#electricity #power #station #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The illustration below demonstrates the
process
 of generating electricity in a hydroelectric power station.
Overall
, it’s a man-made cyclical
process
 containing
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 stages beginning with the
flow
 of
water
 to generate electricity
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
. There is some equipment and only one resource, which is
water
.
Firstly
, the whole
process
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 at the river, which transports
water
 to a high-level reservoir.
Then
 the
flow
 of the
water
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
controlled
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a dam that makes a special intake. It opens at daytime and closes at night. The
flow
 of
water
 comes to
power
Correct article usage
the power
show examples
 station with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
reversible turbines that
also
 work differently depending on the time of day.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
Correct article usage
the daytime
show examples
daytime
Add a comma
daytime,
show examples
 it
operate
Change the verb form
operates
show examples
generator
Add an article
a generator
the generator
show examples
, and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the created electricity goes to power lines and enters the national grid. What about the night,
water
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
low-level
Add an article
the low-level
show examples
 reservoir is being pumped into
Add an article
the high
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 reservoir. At night the
flow
 of
water
 during pumping is the opposite of the daylight ones. It makes the procedure cyclical
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
water
 follows a certain cycle for a whole day.
Moreover
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
process
 is environmental-friendly, and
that is
 why it is so important.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, flow, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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