More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families. But, others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Working at
home
has
risen
Verb problem
raised
show examples
many debates. Some people believe that staying at
home
could be beneficial for individuals and their families;
However
, others think that being an employee from
home
could increase stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
at
home
. I heartfully believe that working out of
home
could be more effective than managing a job from
home
, and the reasons will be discussed below. On the one hand, based on some individuals’ opinions, handling a job from
home
could
provide
Verb problem
have
show examples
many positive effects on the employees and their families.
This
matter could be through contributing more quality time with family and more interaction with them.
Besides
, the flexible hours are another factor that must be considered.
For example
, an employee who has flexible busy time could help his or her spouse in house chores or children’s homework.
On the other hand
, another group believe that staff who choose remote status
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can potentially increase stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
in their homes and families.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
close concentration on
this
matter, the negative effect of job hustles on close relationships is undeniable.
For instance
, based on
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, the men who are self-employed and do their jobs from their house, could experience more quarrels with their wives and their children. In a nutshell, working place status has been very debateful. Some believe that the positive consequences of staying at
home
are dominant;
however
, others think that staying at
home
can lead to increased stress
pressure
Correct word choice
and pressure
show examples
on the family.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in making your essay more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This can help in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion, which is crucial for coherence.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and were able to raise relevant points supporting both sides of the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • Flexi-time
  • Remote work
  • Work-life integration
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Self-discipline
  • Workspace
  • Burnout
  • Ergonomics
  • Time management
  • Distractions
  • Productivity
  • Commuting
  • Connectivity issues
  • Team dynamics
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