The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
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The chart illustrates the amount of money from exporting petroleum
products
Use synonyms
, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
,
textiles
Correct word choice
and textiles
show examples
in 2015 and 2016,
as well as
Linking Words
the table compares
rates
Change the noun form
rate
show examples
changes for each category. Units are measured in
billions
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of dollar
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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and percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the number of sales for gems and
jewellry
Correct your spelling
jewellery
decreased throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
others increased. In terms of the highest product sold, petroleum
products
Use synonyms
stood at $60
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billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
in 2015 and ended at $62
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
in 2016.
This
Linking Words
number was followed by engineered goods that sold around $55
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and rose moderately by 8.5%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Meanwhile, gems and
jewellry
Correct your spelling
jewellery
which started at $43
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
witnessed a moderate decline at $40
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. Regarding the remaining country exports, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
had $31
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
sales in 2015, rose
sligthly
Correct your spelling
slightly
by 0.81%.
Finally
Linking Words
, as the smallest export
Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
, textiles began at $25
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the percentages of
this
Linking Words
product experienced a significant growth by 15.24% over the period.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, billions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • trend analysis
  • anomalies
  • percentage change
  • sector analysis
  • global demand
  • domestic production
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • international regulations
  • economic growth
  • trade relations
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