Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think
university
students
should be given the ability to expand their knowledge and engage in various
activities
-if they want
to-
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
, because that will give them the ability to engage
in
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
education, which may be necessary to boost their skills and make it easier to them to build social relationships.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
believe that
university
students
have to focus on their academic achievement only, without
waste
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying subjects
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
not related to their
specialist
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specialists
show examples
.
Firstly
, the proponents of adhering
students
to their academic subjects only
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that concentrating should be exclusively on the
university
’s courses and material, and it will be wasting of
time
if they go with other content. Especially with the extensive material which are given at universities nowadays, which
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
remarkable efforts to fully understand.
However
, others believe that giving
students
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room to engage in
activities
outside academic specialist material is essential to enrich their knowledge and acquire valuable skills
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
play a pivotal role in their real-life experience. For illustrate, some
students
might tend to integrate their habits with their academic studies by taking
subject
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subjects
show examples
related to their habits at
undergraduate
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the undergraduate
show examples
level.
Moreover
, when
students
join
activities
,
such
as working in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
or visiting workspaces related to their academic specialist, that will give them the opportunity to learn how to build effective relationships with others. And that might give them the ability to find appropriate
job
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jobs
show examples
once
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
it may be
confucient
Correct your spelling
confusing
that
university
students
do not have enough
time
to take
parts
Fix the agreement mistake
part
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
outside their
university
border
Fix the agreement mistake
borders
show examples
, the benefits of engaging in
such
activities
in their social skills and attendance should be considerable.
Submitted by aalahmad387s on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt clearly and provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, instead of general statements, give concrete examples from your own knowledge or experience.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and flows smoothly to the next. Use cohesive devices and appropriate transitional phrases to improve the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should be more distinct and clearly outline the scope of the essay. Summarize your main points in the conclusion and ensure your introduction lays out your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both views, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay presents several relevant points and arguments for both sides of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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