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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays good good governance and healthy politics have become a fabled phenomenon and people, particularly the youth, have lost their trust and interest in politics and public affairs. Whom do you blame for this attitudinal change? How do you think people's trust in politics and interest in public affairs can be restored?

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In the recent era, the young generation
have
Change the verb form
has
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 lost their faith in
politics
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 and public affairs
due to
Linking Words
 the diminishing of fair governance and healthy
politics
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss who is to blame for
this
Linking Words
 kind of change and what steps should be taken to restore the belief of
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public in
politics
Use synonyms
 and public interests.
To begin
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 with, the political atmosphere of
modern
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the modern
show examples
 world consists of a government run by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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greedy and corrupt politicians.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is hard to believe
if
Correct word choice
that
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 a political entity,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is in charge
for
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of
show examples
 public affairs and interests will
work
Use synonyms
 for the benefit
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their fellow citizens because
this
Linking Words
 does not reflect on their actions.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the political groups
work
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 hard to win the elections once their term comes to an end. No effective steps are taken to eradicate every
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem
show examples
 and the general public is left with incomplete and fake promises.
Due to
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 these
factors
Add a comma
factors,
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 the youth tends to lose their faith when it comes to governance and
politics
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. For councils in Asian states which consisted of political leaders who were charged for corruption, published a survey regarding the voting results, where around 87% of the youth did not
casted
Correct your spelling
cast
show examples
 their vote during elections.
However
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, despite these
challenges
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challenges,
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 the government should step in with some strict laws to impose on politicians who are involved in malpractices and dirty
politics
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. Strengthening the mainstream
media
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be effective
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 a certain extent. In the past it has been seen that political parties do not involve themselves in corruption and malpractices if their performance is
fact checked
Add a hyphen
fact-checked
show examples
 with their prior promises and
media
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 houses provide
Add an article
an update
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update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
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 with any
parsiality
Correct your spelling
partiality
 to the general public. A prime example of
this
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 scenario can considered from a study published by the University of Arizona, stating that
leader
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leaders
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 of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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countries who have a strong mainstream
media
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 more efficiently compared to those nations who lack
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of strong
media
Use synonyms
 houses. In conclusion, the trust of youth can be regained in public
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
show examples
 if more qualified and dedicated leaders take charge of the government, ma
additionally
Linking Words
 the mainstream
media
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 can
also
Linking Words
 play an important role
to criticize
Change preposition
in criticizing
show examples
 the policies and
work
Use synonyms
 of the political groups.

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, it can delve deeper into each of the issues discussed. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to enhance comprehension and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity. Properly connecting ideas within and between paragraphs will improve readability.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
supported main points
The use of specific examples, such as citing surveys and studies, adds credibility to the arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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