IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint?

#people #job #expectations #jobs #company #change
In the modern workplace, employees have
virus
Correct your spelling
vague
show examples
 visions for careers some have the passion for shifting their jobs because of earning experiences and changing moods,
While
 others prefer not to secure their position at
work
 and get a promotion.
Therefore
, I will write about the cons and pros of different
job
 expectations from both perspectives. On the
one
 hand, individuals who would like to keep their jobs
because wild-range
Replace the word
for a wide range
show examples
 of reasons. First of all, having
one
 suitable career provides people good
life
 through earning
work
 promotions.
Thus
, they can have a great
life
 for themself
as well as
 the next generation via rewards from the company.
Moreover
, workers would handle their position at
work
 through hard-
work
 and loyalty toward the workplace.
However
, the people who do not change their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 are unable to acquire new knowledge and experience. To elaborate more, some working environments present the same routine every day yet the individual has just
one
 professional side.
According to
 that, if the company replace
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 position in another area, she/ he will fail because of the lack of experience.
Whereas
,
on the other hand
, people who quickly shift to another
work
 area have multifaceted positive and negative.
To begin
 with pros, they will be able to acquire diverse
job
 opportunities, experiences ,and knowledge about the market. Because they change their career, they could find new workplaces which ameliorate their skills.
In addition
, some workers love to try something new
due to
 feeling bored . So, their fluctuating mood leads to a disadvantage point to replace the workplace.
One
 main con is changing the apartment living area ( where the person lives) which makes workers’ families feel unstable at home.
Overall
, everyone should think twice before changing their
job
 to another
one
. Having deep thinking on the advantages and disadvantages of each
life
 stage will enhance our
life
 positively
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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coherence cohesion
Pay more attention to the clarity of your main points. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one clear idea. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will enhance the task achievement of your essay.
general
Revise the essay to eliminate small grammatical errors and improve word choice. This will make your essay much clearer and more professional.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of each. This shows thorough consideration of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear starting point and a satisfying closure to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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