Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.?

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sport #clubs #staff #work #benefit

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Most

staff

Use synonyms

officer is given by the

company

Use synonyms

the facilities

sports

Use synonyms

club and

also

Linking Words

they get

card

Use synonyms

membership to join gyms, that would make their

staff

Use synonyms

more well beings and focused at work.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, other employees argue there is no benefit

from

Correct pronoun usage

from it

show examples

. Because health is pivotal for

staff

Use synonyms

members

Use synonyms

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

company

Use synonyms

gives membership for their employees to follow

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs

likewise

Linking Words

soccer and gym. Other

staff

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think

that is

Linking Words

not effective because it is spending many

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

and

energy

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, some

staff

Use synonyms

officer

Fix the agreement mistake

officers

show examples

have the opinion joining a soccer club makes more healthier.

However

Linking Words

, they will burn their calories which are not outstanding for their well-being.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, why the

company

Use synonyms

help them to give

card

Use synonyms

members

Use synonyms

when they want to join the

sports

Use synonyms

clubs they can get a discount,

such

Linking Words

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

members

Use synonyms

can get

free

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

50 %

Change preposition

off if

show examples

they use the

card

Use synonyms

given by employers.

As a result

Linking Words

, they are healthier than

staff

Use synonyms

not join

sports

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programs. After that, they have more

energy

Use synonyms

than employment

not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

regular physical exercise.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some employers argue that spending

much

Rephrase

too much

show examples

time. Since they must regularly join the

sports

Use synonyms

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

programs,

for example

Linking Words

, footballs and gyms.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they decide no join the club’s

members

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

companies are given free to join there,

staff

Use synonyms

think that does not impact for occupation.

in addition

Linking Words

, they could be spending much more

energy

Use synonyms

to do

sports

Use synonyms

. when they play futsal, the

staff

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becomes exhausted because it spent

energy

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, after joining clubs and gym programs; they will not focus on work

To sum up

Linking Words

, most

staff

Use synonyms

are helped

card

Use synonyms

members

Use synonyms

company

Use synonyms

which is support their healthy. After that, they will focus on doing their work.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, other employees think that it does not impact the performance of their jobs because it

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

a lot of time and

energy

Use synonyms

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Aug 26 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make a clear distinction between both viewpoints and present them one after another in clearly separated paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points and address any counterarguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your introduction introduces the topic clearly and your conclusion summarizes the main arguments clearly.

Task Achievement

There is an effort to discuss both viewpoints, which is important for this type of essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay attempts to follow a clear structure, with an introduction and a conclusion present.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.?

In order to learn about the way other people in the world live, it is better to look at film or video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Theoretical subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are taught in universities but students prefer more practical subjects such as accounting and computer programming. Some people believe theoretical subjects should be abandoned in universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.