Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work. Other employees find no benefit doing so. Discuss both views.?
Most
staff
officer is given by the company
the facilities sports
club and also
they get card
membership to join gyms, that would make their staff
more well beings and focused at work. Nevertheless
, other employees argue there is no benefit from
. Because health is pivotal for Correct pronoun usage
from it
staff
members
, same
Add an article
the same
company
gives membership for their employees to follow sport
clubs Change the noun form
sports
likewise
soccer and gym. Other staff
think that is
not effective because it is spending many times
and Fix the agreement mistake
time
energy
. This
essay will discuss both views.
On the one hand, some staff
officer
have the opinion joining a soccer club makes more healthier. Fix the agreement mistake
officers
However
, they will burn their calories which are not outstanding for their well-being. For
this
reason, why the company
help them to give card
members
when they want to join the sports
clubs they can get a discount, such
as
Correct word choice
apply
members
can get free
50 % Correct word choice
apply
if
they use the Change preposition
off if
card
given by employers. As a result
, they are healthier than staff
not join sports
programs. After that, they have more energy
than employment not
regular physical exercise.
Add the comma(s)
, not
On the other hand
, some employers argue that spending much
time. Since they must regularly join the Rephrase
too much
sports
center
programs, Change the spelling
centre
for example
, footballs and gyms. Therefore
, they decide no join the club’s members
. Although
companies are given free to join there, staff
think that does not impact for occupation. in addition
, they could be spending much more energy
to do sports
. when they play futsal, the staff
becomes exhausted because it spent energy
. Consequently
, after joining clubs and gym programs; they will not focus on work
To sum up
, most staff
are helped card
members
by company
which is support their healthy. After that, they will focus on doing their work. Nevertheless
, other employees think that it does not impact the performance of their jobs because it take
a lot of time and Change the verb form
takes
energy
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make a clear distinction between both viewpoints and present them one after another in clearly separated paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points and address any counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction introduces the topic clearly and your conclusion summarizes the main arguments clearly.
Task Achievement
There is an effort to discuss both viewpoints, which is important for this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempts to follow a clear structure, with an introduction and a conclusion present.
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