Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any activities of their discuss both sides and give opinion
In the contemporary era, there are heated arguments over the issue that dangerous sports are hazardous for life. There is no iota of doubt about the circumstances that arise in daily life. A majority of society
favour
Correct subject-verb agreement
favours
that
dangerous sports should Correct word choice
apply
ban
Wrong verb form
be banned
while
others oppose it. The following paragraph will highlight my perspectives which will lead to a logical conclusion.
On the one hand, governments should ban harmful games
with given aspects of myriad reason
because it can significantly reduce the number of accidents and death Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
due to
the strict laws individuals learn to take personal responsibility. However
, engaging in dangerous outdoor activities
causes many medical problems like backaches, legs ache, and cramps. For instance
, China has the World's largest population, they teach their fosters in different fields but they ban toxic games
for the lives of their nation's people. Furthermore
, the paril activities
band due to
minimize the burden on medical facilities.
on the other hand
, the foremost underlying reasons stem from the fact that extreme sports have cultural and social significance, fostering a sense of community because of the tradition among the participants. Furthermore
, instead
of banning the games
government and parents should teach the rules and laws about playing and not harming others. Olympics have different varieties of games
and people participate throughout the world or receive gold, silver, and bronze.
To recapitulate, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supplying that enrollying
in different Correct your spelling
enrolling
activities
enhance the confidence to compete the World. Meanwhile, parents and teacher
should take care of their children and know their life Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
activities
.Submitted by alviusman18 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing your logical structure. While your ideas are good, they need to flow more smoothly from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument and your opinion. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your train of thought from the beginning.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples. This will not only strengthen your argument but also make your essay more engaging and convincing.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some points are touched upon but not fully elaborated; giving more details can help improve clarity.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, which is excellent in providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your main points and reiterating your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.