It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teacher be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children,

It is a topic of debate
that
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apply
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how to make young ones understand the difference between right and wrong.
However
, one group advocates that penalizing
children
is a
way
,
while
others
asserts
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assert
show examples
that other
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
ways like discussion sessions, educational plays etc.are
also
there.
Therefore
, I do not agree with the former view of teaching youngsters about right and wrong things by punishing them. The reasons to support my stance are elaborated in
following
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the following
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paragraphs.
To begin
with, those who think
the
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corporal punishment is an effective
way
opines
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opine
show examples
this
because when parents were young, they were
also
taught in the same
way
.
Therefore
,
according to
a few
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
harsh
way
is the only option.
However
, other more
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
and easy ways can
also
be
use
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used
show examples
to achieve the task.
On the other hand
, one-to-one discussion between
children
and guardians is a more appropriate
way
. In fact, it will not only build confidence in learners but the youngsters will be able to understand the concept more easily and that too without fear. To illustrate, it is seen that punishment makes a child stubborn and less responsive to the things taught to them.
Thus
, discussion sessions
is
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are
show examples
one of the best
resort
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resorts
show examples
to teach the difference between good and bad. Adding more to it,
use
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the use
show examples
of different educational plays at schools is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another option, which can be used. As a matter of fact, the minors are more responsive to visuals than simple lectures.
For example
, it is seen that young ones remember the talks that are done in videos or plays for
long
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a long
show examples
time, as compared to
the
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apply
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verbal communication.
Hence
,
use
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the use
show examples
of educational plays is an important
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
to make youngsters realise, what is right and wrong. In the end, in order to teach
children
, some of us choose different punishments that
carries
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carry
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less effect. More
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
means are communicating with
children
and showing them
plays
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play
show examples
, which enables them to differentiate between good and bad.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by well-developed examples.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, making them more convincing.
task achievement
Aim for more clarity and detail in your ideas to fully develop your response.
task achievement
Your essay effectively tackles the task and raised some valid points on why punishment might not be the best approach for teaching children the difference between right and wrong.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were present and clearly framed your argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline
  • constructive punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • non-physical punishment
  • time-out
  • privileges
  • consequences
  • consistency
  • proportional
  • empathy
  • internalize
  • misbehavior
  • physical punishment
  • aggression
  • antisocial behavior
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