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Band 5.5

The internet has transformed lives and economies bit it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#internet #lives #economies #bit #world #village #everybody
In
this
 day and
age
Add a comma
age,
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 there is a considerable problem connected with the great number of graduates who have difficulty finding a decent job. Fortunately, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a number of solutions to the problem and I feel like discussing them. Much as some pieces of career
advice
 strike plenty of people as a viable option, I do not think it is the case. The thing is that the vast majority of teachers have never worked
on
Change preposition
in
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 any other positions and their working experience may well be pretty limited.
Hence
, students can not get
a helpful
Remove the article
helpful advice
a piece of helpful advice
a bit of helpful advice
show examples
advice
 from them. What is more, getting some
advice
 from others can even mislead some of the students as everyone should arrive at the
decesions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 themselves.
On the other hand
, it may well turn out a sound idea for governments to provide some working experience programmes, where students could understand what field of work they are willing to go for. In
this
 case, the vast majority of undergraduates would see the pros and cons of working
on
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in
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 a particular position which is bound to remedy the situation.
To conclude
, I guess the issue of finding a covetable job is essential in
this
 day and age since it might positively or negatively affect all of our spheres of life including salary. To my mind, giving some
advice
 is a dismal failure
while
 introducing some experience programmes seems a sound idea as I am positive as are many others that
working
Change the form of the verb
work
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 in the
fiend
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 you enjoy thoroughly is bound to make you happier.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement score, ensure that you include more specific examples to support your points. While your suggestions are clear, they lack detailed evidence that could make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas. This can enhance the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well. This structure makes it easy to understand your main points.
task achievement
You presented comprehensive ideas that address the topic effectively. Your proposed solution of work experience programmes is particularly strong.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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