IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart provides information about the expenditure on three stages among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart provides information about the expenditure on three stages among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
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The chart provides information about the expenditure on three stages among different age
groups
Use synonyms
 of residents in the UK in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that food and drink had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 percentages in approximately all age
groups
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
restaurant
Use synonyms
 and
hotel
Use synonyms
 had the lowest. It is worth noticing that food and drink made up 23%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the oldest group which is the largest one,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the youngest had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 had the lowest in the 76+ group,
whereas
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the youngest generation accounted for 14 per
cent
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the highest. Now turning to the details, in the age category 61-75
restaurant
Use synonyms
 and
hotel
Use synonyms
 spending made up the smallest
speding
Correct your spelling
spending
speeding
that is
Linking Words
 only three per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 entertainment spending was the largest one in comparison with other
groups
Use synonyms
, which consisted
Change preposition
of twenty
show examples
twenty three
Add a hyphen
twenty-three
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two
groups
Use synonyms
that are
Verb problem
,
show examples
 31-
45
Change preposition
to 45
show examples
 and from
fourty six
Correct your spelling
forty-six
 to sixty were similar. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
restaurant
Use synonyms
 and
hotel
Use synonyms
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
 were 13% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, restaurant, hotel, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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