The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of the young population of children divided by
age
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groups in the United Kingdom from 1990 to 2001. In general, the
age
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from 0 to 4 significantly decreased
while
Linking Words
the
rate
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of children aged from 10 to 14
years
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increased over time. Having looked at the given picture for more details, in 1990, the figure for the group from 0 to 4 was 26% which is more than the
age
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rate
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over 4 and under 10 by 1.5%. After 2
years
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, both the percentages of the two groups witnessed a slight increase.
However
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, in 1993, the gathering figure under 5 dropped rapidly and reached the lowest proportion at nearly 23.5% in 2001. Meanwhile, the proportion of
age
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from 5 to 9 went up to its highest
rate
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at 26% in 1997 before falling by 1% in 2001. Related to two gatherings of ages over 10
years
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old, with the percentage of children from 15 to 19, it grew over time and raised to the highest figure at under 26% after a decade.
By contrast
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, the remaining group
rate
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from 10 to 14 heavily dropped by 3% in 2003 and remained steady after 3
years
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.
However
Linking Words
, in 1996, it had a slight growth and reached a quarter in 2001.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, rate, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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