IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians who gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians who gave money to charitable organisations by age range for the years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#information #percentage #canadians #money #organisations #age #range #years #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart above shows information about the percentage of Canada's
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 who donate their money to charitable organisations from various ages between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2000 and 2015.
Overall
, the category of
age
 range from 18 to 49, the charity was high in 2000. But, from
age
 50 until 65 and over, the charity was high in 2015.
Firstly
, in 2000, people from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 group 18 to 24 donated their money up to 20 per
cent
.
However
, the number decreased to 11 per
cent
 in 2015.
Then
, in 2000,
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 their money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charity
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 around 29 per
cent
.
Nonetheless
, the
per
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
cent
 was
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lower to 25 per
cent
 in 2015. After that, from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 category 35 to 49, in 2000, the
per
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
cent
 was really high among other categories, which was 39 per
cent
.
Nevertheless
, the per
cent
 steadily down to 34 per
cent
. Even so, there are two types of
age
 range that the trend was
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
. The first one is ages from 50 to 64, in 2000, the
per centage
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 was only 34 per
cent
.
Then
, constantly up to 38 per
cent
.
Last
 category,
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 group from 65 and beyond, in 2000, the
per centage
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 was 31 per
cent
. Afterwards, slightly upwards to 34 per
cent
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • age range
  • charitable organisations
  • fluctuates
  • notable changes
  • participation
  • considerable decrease
  • contrast
  • consistent increase
  • middle age groups
  • peak
  • notable drop
  • shift
  • financial priorities
  • economic circumstances
  • demographic
What to do next:
Look at other essays: