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Band 5

Nowdays people make new friends throught social network and internet chat groups. some people think this is good. Others think that face to face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#nowdays #people #friends #throught #network #internet #chat #groups #face #interaction
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
interaction
varied
Wrong verb form
varies
show examples
 in multiple ways which makes the individual choose the best way. The argument between
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
communication
 and online
interaction
 is oversophisticated.
While
this
 essay will propose the
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between social network chatting and
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
interaction
, for several reasons
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
communication
 surpasses social
media
interaction
.
Unduotdly
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
, involving in social
media
 chatting
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals to engage with each other. The main reason for communicating through social networking is
fast
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to deliver the message the
person
 wants to convey, so individuals these days tend to do all their things
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 speed unlike before.
While people
Correct word choice
People
show examples
 could increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 chances of knowing others when they
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
 in social
media
, as they communicate with other populations from far destinations.
For example
, Saudi Arabia news has reported that social
media
 opened
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 doors for people from other countries to know about Saudi Arabia as it was unknown. The above points state
a good arguments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good argument
good arguments
show examples
, but
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
interaction
regarded
Add a missing verb
is regarded
show examples
 as more effective than online chatting. When individuals ponder through
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
 lives discover that building trust occurs in one-on-one
communication
. Basically, communicating
face
 to
face
 makes the
person
 correlate with the candidate and make an authentic friendship.
However
, no one
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 understand the
person
 fully
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online as in
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
communication
 the gestures of the
person
 are clear,
moreover
, the tone is vitally crucial to know if the
person
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 point. Numerous academic articles
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown people get to understand each other in one-on-one
communication
 for its obviousness. In conclusion, the two ways of
interaction
 tend to include several advantages as online
intraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 fast and
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 relationships with other populations.
However
,
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
interaction
 is more effective for
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
benefite
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to build trust and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 you understand the
person
 in front of you.
Submitted by noura239502 on

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task achievement
Consider improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to enhance the overall quality of the essay. For example, the word 'undoubtedly' is misspelled as 'unduotdly,' and 'it doors' should be 'its doors.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly and logically from one idea to the next. This can be done by using transitional phrases and linking words effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support main points, such as actual instances of how social media or face-to-face interactions have affected individuals’ relationships.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main points of both views (online interaction vs. face-to-face interaction) are discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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