You read an advertisement about in the local newspapers about a discount sale at a particular shop. However, when you meet to buy the goods you wanted, you found the sale had ended. Write to the shop manager. In your letter, -inform him/her where and when you went to the shop -what you felt when you came to know that the sale had ended -demand compensation for the goods you wanted to buy

#advertisement #newspapers #discount #sale #shop #goods #manager #-inform #-what #-demand #compensation

Dear

sri

Correct your spelling

sir

Sri

, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your shop's

markting

Correct your spelling

marketing

. I was

exciting

Replace the word

excited

show examples

about

shop's

Correct article usage

the shop's

show examples

discount

Change preposition

show examples

the newspaper

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

the shop has

posten

Correct your spelling

posted

a sale news

Remove the article

sale news

a piece of sale news

show examples

. Yesterday, when I tried to use the discount ticket, the counter told me that

this

special sale already finished

Change preposition

apply

show examples

last

week. But I just saw

this

news

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Tuesday, and today is Friday, so

this

is unreasonable.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

I still bought the item on

Thuresday

Correct your spelling

Thursday

. I am strongly suggest

Submitted by mauvelady1123 on Tue Sep 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

The letter could benefit from a more organized structure. Separate different points into distinct paragraphs for clarity.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is mostly appropriate, but it could be made slightly more formal to suit the context of writing to a shop manager.

task achievement

Ensure all parts of the task are addressed. The request for compensation could be stated more clearly and explicitly.

task achievement

You have provided specific details about when and where you attempted to use the discount.

coherence cohesion

The closing of the letter is polite and shows consideration, though it could be more formal.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

81 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Many products taht we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

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