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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph provides information about the amount of books that were borrowed in four differen months in 2914 from 4 village libraries, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.

The line graph provides information about the amount of books that were borrowed in four differen months in 2914 from 4 village libraries, and the pie chart illustrates the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time.
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The figure illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 from four
libraries
Use synonyms
 in four consecutive months in the year 2914, and the chart gives information about the type of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed by percentages during the same time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that almost half of
borrowed
Add an article
the borrowed
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 were fictional,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least were self-help
books
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the line graph, all
libraries
Use synonyms
 experienced a growth in the
number
Use synonyms
 of borrowed
books
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 over the given time, with Sutton Wood library having the highest numbers, except for Ryeslip which faced a fall. Regarding the
libraries
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, both West Eaton and Church mount
libraries
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 showed the same trend,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with 50
books
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 in June which rose to around 100 in July and ended the period with 150
books
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 in September.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Sutton Wood library had the highest
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed,
began
Wrong verb form
beginning
show examples
 with 250 in June and
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 in July to drop dramatically in August to just 100
books
Use synonyms
;
nonetheless
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed to 300 in September. Turning to Ryeslip, it started in July with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 than the three
libraries
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, with 300
books
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.
However
Linking Words
, the amount gradually decreased till the end of the period, ending with roughly 170
books
Use synonyms
 in September. The type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
borrowed
books
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 was largely fiction,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for 43%, biography in second place with 19%, history and science made an equal fraction with 14%, and self-help
books
Use synonyms
 were the least borrowed with only 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, libraries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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