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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagrams
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 recycling statistics for four materials between 1982 and 2010, namely,
paper
Use synonyms
 and cardboard,
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
,
aluminium
Use synonyms
 cans and plastics.
Overall
Linking Words
, the volumes of
paper
Use synonyms
 and cardboard and
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 were volatile over the period
while
Linking Words
aluminium
Use synonyms
 maintained an up trend and plastics were nearly
stagnent
Correct your spelling
stagnant
 with only an increase of less than 5%. It is important to note that in 1982 there were only two materials being recycled,
aluminium
Use synonyms
 and plastic joined later in 1986 and 1990 respectively. In 1986
paper
Use synonyms
 was the most recycled at around 65%,
while
Linking Words
 only one in every 2
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 were recycled. From that year
paper
Use synonyms
 cardboard
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 increased
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 volume to 70% by 1986, it recorded its highest volume in 1994 at 80%, meanwhile,
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 declining in the same period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 when
aluminium
Use synonyms
 started recycling it became so popular that it rapidly increased by more than 40% over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paper, glass, containers, aluminium with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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