In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In many nations, females are allowed to take maternity leave from their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
during
several months after giving birth. I believe that it has Change preposition
for
adventages
outweigh the drawbacks.
Correct your spelling
advantages
Firstly
, mothers
who allow
to take a rest for Wrong verb form
are allowed
certain
period of time can focus Add an article
a certain
themselves
on Correct pronoun usage
apply
babies
. It is because there is no something urgent which should be completed at the same time like tasks from bosses. Correct pronoun usage
their babies
By contrast
, if they have to work, it means that they
will be difficult to divide time and it leads to lower interaction between Correct pronoun usage
it
mothers
and babies
. Whereas
, this
phase is the most crucial to build bond
between Add an article
a bond
the bond
mothers
and babies
. In addition
, mothers
always need to recover after giving birth particularly they
who have undergone Correct pronoun usage
those
cesar
surgeries. Change the capitalization
Cesar
Thus
, it is important to
them to Change preposition
for
temporary
stop working because if they Change the word
temporarily
should
go to work, their energy will be limited and it decrease Verb problem
apply
speed
of Add an article
the speed
recovering
.
Replace the word
recovery
However
, this
condition might lead families to face more financial burdens. In several countries, the wages will be cut when employees take maternity. If a family depends on mother's
salary, it means that revenue will decrease, so they might find it difficult to reach stability Correct article usage
the mother's
of
Change preposition
in
economy
during Correct article usage
the economy
this
phase. Moreover
, stress might be suffered by mothers
. It happens due to
limit
interaction and socialization. When Replace the word
limited
mothers
are in offices, they are easily to
interact with their Fix the infinitive
apply
collagues
or clients. Correct your spelling
colleagues
While
,
staying at home for Remove the comma
apply
long
period will make them bored and eventually end with mental illness Add an article
a long
such
as stress. But, this
situation can be tackled by visiting relatives or friends, thus
mothers
will never feel loneliness
.
In conclusion, I believe that laws about taking maternity will provide more benefits than disadvantages. Families might suffer from financial burdens during these phases or females may feel alone. Yet, Replace the word
lonely
by
taking a rest, Change preposition
apply
it
will ease Correct pronoun usage
apply
mothers
to focus on babies
and Correct pronoun usage
their babies
straighthen
relationship between them Correct your spelling
strengthen
straighten
also
it will help
Wrong verb form
helps
better
recovery of Add an article
the better
mothers
.Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on
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clarity
Consider enhancing the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring grammatical accuracy. For instance, simplify sentences like 'mothers who allow to take a rest for certain period of time' to 'mothers who are allowed to take some time off'.
examples
It would be beneficial to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. You could mention specific countries' maternity leave policies or provide personal anecdotes to make your points more relatable.
structure
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your ideas are fully developed and organized effectively. For example, you could improve the structure of your paragraphs by clearly distinguishing between the advantages and disadvantages in separate sections.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your discussion, providing a balanced view from the outset.
conclusion
The essay conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which leaves a strong impression on the reader.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...