Women and men are commonly seens as having different strengths and wekanesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professiions because of their gender?
Naturally, we as a human should
being
grateful for all the things that we have, like our firm Change the verb form
be
body
structure and great mind. Although
, there are some differences if we talk about Correct word choice
However
body
strengthness
and mind greatness Correct your spelling
strength
between
Change preposition
in
men
and women
. This
essay will outline that
differences and give some Correct determiner usage
the
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
for
why we need to exclude or only include one gender for typical Change preposition
of
jobs
.
In fact
for some Add a comma
fact,
reason
we know that Add a comma
reason,
women
did not that
strength compared to Add a missing verb
have that
men
. We can say, the
Correct word choice
that the
body
structures are not that different, but a woman in a specific area must be less taller
than a man that has Change the word
tall
a
same age range. Correct article usage
the
Also
, not only about the physical differences, both male and female adult has their own characteristic when thinking with their brain. Men
will be thinking logically when faced with problems, while
women
will be using their emotional feelings first. In Addition
, that
Correct determiner usage
those
kind
of distinctions are the reason why some Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
profession
can only be done by a single gender.
Clearly, some of the Fix the agreement mistake
professions
jobs
will more likely only available
to Add a missing verb
be available
men
because it is need people with great physical body
. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
For instance
, why truck drivers were dominated by men
just because they need
to work Wrong verb form
needed
in
almost every time Change preposition
apply
in
a day with minimum sleep time and sometimes they Change preposition
apply
should
bring big or heavy Verb problem
had to
stuffs
when needed. Actually, some companies did not Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
mentioned
Change the verb form
mention
about
the gender requirement for specific work, but it has become Change preposition
apply
a
commonplace to not get Correct article usage
apply
jobs
when we are
not meet the actual Verb problem
do
condition
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
i
tend to agree that to exclude Change the capitalization
I
women
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
on
some typical Change preposition
in
jobs
or vice versa. Despite of women
are not needed for some physical professions, they are gifted with their excellent emotion
feelings. Replace the word
emotional
On the other hand
, men
with their body
strengthness
should maintain and utilize it Correct your spelling
strength
for making
money, Change preposition
to make
such
as being a
truck Correct article usage
apply
driver
.Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher band score, ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed. This means providing clear and more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph discusses a single main idea and supports it well. This will help in making your essay more coherent.
task achievement
Make sure to address the topic completely. While you did talk about physical strengths and emotional intelligence, also consider other dimensions such as mental resilience and intellectual capabilities that cut across genders.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases more effectively to ensure a smoother flow between ideas. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which encapsulate the main idea effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points were generally supported with examples, although further elaboration could improve their impact.
task achievement
Your essay touches on key points regarding gender differences, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.