Task 1 : The provided line graph depicts alterations in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.

Task 1 : 

The provided line graph depicts alterations in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph provides information regarding the changing patterns of the availability of modern technology among UK citizens during the years between 1996/97 and 2002/03. It can be seen from the above diagram, that all the technological equipment had an upward trend throughout the given period. Access to CD players had the highest percentage back in 1996
as well as
Linking Words
in the year 2000. Internet access had been available only from 1998/99 period but since
then
Linking Words
, the availability among
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
show examples
crowd for above mentioned, steadily increased
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
an increasing rate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, CD players and mobile phones
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
accessible domestically since 1996. Mobile phone accessibility increased quite fast during the
early1998
Correct your spelling
early 1998
/99 timeline and
then
Linking Words
became steady and levelled off after mid 1998/99,
then
Linking Words
again picked up the popularity in 2000. Most people had CD players at home
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
at any given time.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, mobile phones seem to have become
popular
Correct quantifier usage
more popular
show examples
than home computers back in early 1998. As an abstract, it is obvious that regardless of the category, modern technology has been popular among the domestic crowd in the UK.
Submitted by hashkweerasekara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: