Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently,an increasing number of
families
Use synonyms
has
immigrated abroad to seek working opportunities. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Therefore
, individuals argue fiercely Linking Words
that
whether the idea of moving overseas is good for Change preposition
about
Use synonyms
kids
of these Correct article usage
the kids
families
or not. Some people agree with Use synonyms
this
viewpoint, Linking Words
however
, others may not be on the same wavelength.
There are several benefits for children who Linking Words
emerged
from immigrant Wrong verb form
emerge
families
. First of all, they can experience different teaching styles, Use synonyms
therefore
, Linking Words
kids
Use synonyms
could not
only learn Wrong verb form
cannot
distinct
Add an article
the distinct
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
of
studying but Change preposition
to
also
broaden their horizons. Linking Words
Next,
children who are exposed to unfamiliar cultures can learn new things rapidly. To illustrate, those who are in unfamiliar Linking Words
environment
have to adapt themselves quickly in order to communicate with neighborhoods. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
Last
but not least, being surrounded by divergent cultures, children and their folks can strengthen their abilities Linking Words
of learning
second languages.
Replace the preposition
to learn
However
, those who hold different opinions might contend that it is inferior for youngsters who come from immigrant Linking Words
families
. One argument is that even though migrating to different countries can gain other job chances, immigrants would find it difficult to adapt themselves Use synonyms
in
alien countries. Change preposition
to
For instance
, Linking Words
adolescence
may feel uncomfortable when intimate friends and relatives are not surrounded by them, Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
consequently
, they might indulge in sentimental emotions. Linking Words
And for
another viewpoint, Correct word choice
For
language
barrier may be Add an article
the language
a
extreme challenge for these youngsters. To illustrate, Change the article
an
lack
of linguistic knowledge Correct article usage
a lack
which
can result in stressful Correct pronoun usage
apply
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
of
Change preposition
for
kids
.
Use synonyms
Therefore
, that would not form a proper condition for Linking Words
kids
' raising.‹
In conclusion, even though some might disagree that moving overseas is beneficial for Use synonyms
voungsters
, I personally hold the belief that Correct your spelling
youngsters
through
immigration, Change preposition
apply
which
can create a better background for Correct pronoun usage
apply
kids
to grow up.<Use synonyms
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grammar
Proofread the essay carefully for grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity and readability.
content development
Make sure to fully develop each point with clear examples or explanations. This will make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
cohesion and coherence
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition, besides) to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints as per the prompt requirement, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The essay concludes with a personal opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion essay.
coherence and cohesion
The writer has managed to include several points supporting both sides of the argument, showing a good depth of discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example