In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
A
credit
card
has become such
a common thing to use in our society these days. While
it is easy to be applied, it leads to debt issues for some people
who fail to pay. I personally believe that the burden of credit
cards outweighs its benefit
.
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Firstly
, talking about the advantages, using a credit
card
helps people
to buy luxury things
. As the dept
could be paid at a later time, Correct your spelling
debt
people
may buy expensive branded things
. Furthermore
, it usually offers special discounts for its users on certain occasions, leading them to purchase pricey things
with deferred payment
. For example
, BRI, a conventional bank
from Indonesia, offers an instalment payment
with a 0% interest rate to buy a new smartphone. It is surely an interesting offer for some people
to apply for when they cannot afford the phone with their monthly salary. As a result
, people
are likely to purchase expensive things
they do not need in the first place.
Secondly
, moving to the drawback of applying for a credit
card
. A credit
card
could destroy users' eligibility records in the bank
. As people
fail to pay back their debts when they use an instalment payment
, there will be a permanent bad financial record in the central bank
. Moreover
, this
record will affect every business that is
related to finance thing. For example
, in Indonesia, people
who are willing to buy a house with the Housing Ownership Credit
(KPR) system will check their financial eligibility through BI Checking, a central bank
checking system, before the house's developer accepts their KPR. Therefore
, payment
on credit
has such
a substantial risk for users which affects their future.
In conclusion, credit
cards may be easy to apply and useful in daily life, however
, from my perspective the disadvantage outweighs its advantages because it has a crucial effect on the future.Submitted by chocolate10
on
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task achievement
Clearly explain and elaborate on both advantages and disadvantages to give a balanced view. Currently, your focus leans more towards the disadvantages, making the essay feel slightly unbalanced.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow and transitions between points. Some transitions are abrupt or missing, making it slightly hard to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is well-supported with examples and explanations. While you have some good examples, the supporting ideas sometimes feel underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good overview of your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of credit cards.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.