In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
A
credit
Use synonyms
card
has become Use synonyms
such
a common thing to use in our society these days. Linking Words
While
it is easy to be applied, it leads to debt issues for some Linking Words
people
who fail to pay. I personally believe that the burden of Use synonyms
credit
cards outweighs its Use synonyms
benefit
.
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Firstly
, talking about the advantages, using a Linking Words
credit
Use synonyms
card
helps Use synonyms
people
to buy luxury Use synonyms
things
. As the Use synonyms
dept
could be paid at a later time, Correct your spelling
debt
people
may buy expensive branded Use synonyms
things
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, it usually offers special discounts for its users on certain occasions, leading them to purchase pricey Linking Words
things
with deferred Use synonyms
payment
. Use synonyms
For example
, BRI, a conventional Linking Words
bank
from Indonesia, offers an instalment Use synonyms
payment
with a 0% interest rate to buy a new smartphone. It is surely an interesting offer for some Use synonyms
people
to apply for when they cannot afford the phone with their monthly salary. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
people
are likely to purchase expensive Use synonyms
things
they do not need in the first place.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, moving to the drawback of applying for a Linking Words
credit
Use synonyms
card
. A Use synonyms
credit
Use synonyms
card
could destroy users' eligibility records in the Use synonyms
bank
. As Use synonyms
people
fail to pay back their debts when they use an instalment Use synonyms
payment
, there will be a permanent bad financial record in the central Use synonyms
bank
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
record will affect every business Linking Words
that is
related to finance thing. Linking Words
For example
, in Indonesia, Linking Words
people
who are willing to buy a house with the Housing Ownership Use synonyms
Credit
(KPR) system will check their financial eligibility through BI Checking, a central Use synonyms
bank
checking system, before the house's developer accepts their KPR. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
payment
on Use synonyms
credit
has Use synonyms
such
a substantial risk for users which affects their future.
In conclusion, Linking Words
credit
cards may be easy to apply and useful in daily life, Use synonyms
however
, from my perspective the disadvantage outweighs its advantages because it has a crucial effect on the future.Linking Words
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task achievement
Clearly explain and elaborate on both advantages and disadvantages to give a balanced view. Currently, your focus leans more towards the disadvantages, making the essay feel slightly unbalanced.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow and transitions between points. Some transitions are abrupt or missing, making it slightly hard to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is well-supported with examples and explanations. While you have some good examples, the supporting ideas sometimes feel underdeveloped.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good overview of your viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of credit cards.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.