Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give an opinion.

In
this
age and day, becoming a global citizen plays a vital role in our society.
While
some people claim that learning about other
subjects
in addition
to their main
subjects
is a necessary program in university, others believe that they should focus on studying for a qualification
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
essay will delve into both sides before showing my agreement with the former opinion. On the one hand, there is no denying that those who advocate for dedicating all their time and attention to studying for a
qualificaiton
Correct your spelling
qualification
have valid reasons for their stance. The
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
reason is that specialization allows
students
to acquire in-depth
knowledge
in their major. When devoting significant effort to their main
sublects
Correct your spelling
subjects
,
students
can understand
these theory
Change the determiner
this theory
these theories
show examples
more
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
. The profound
knowledge
paves the way for their research opportunities , specialized career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
and
recognization
Correct your spelling
recognition
show examples
as experts in their fields.
For instance
, sophomore or junior
students
in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
industry
alway
Correct your spelling
always
participate in scientific research in their majors in university in order to have experience and
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
.
That
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
are advantages for them when working in
hospital
Add an article
a hospital
the hospital
show examples
or continuing
study
master's program.
On the other hand
, it is
also
undeniable that learning
undeniable
Change the adjective
undeniably
show examples
that learning related
knowledge
outside of the major field of
study
is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
.
Firstly
, exploring diverse
disci
Correct your spelling
disc
foster
Wrong verb form
fosters
show examples
intellectual understanding of the world. It promotes critical thinking, creativity and interdisciplinary problem-solving skills, which are highly valued in today's complex and interconnected society.
For example
, a student majoring in computer science who takes courses in psychology may gain insights into human
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and design more user-friendly software interfaces.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, learning about other
subjects
can provide
students
with a well-rounded education that equips them with transferable skills, enabling them to adapt to a rapidly changing job market. In conclusion,
while
focusing on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
for a qualification may be advantageous to a certain degree, I espouse the notion that university
students
should expand their
knowledge
by studying
subjects
beyond their primary fields of
study
. By
acquire
Change the form of the verb
acquiring
show examples
a diverse range of
study
, they can develop a comprehensive perspective
deeper
Correct word choice
and deeper
show examples
knowledge
and expand their social relationship.
Submitted by ntl250605 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your essay, aim for a clearer logical structure. Avoid repetition and try to use varied vocabulary to express similar ideas. This will help maintain the reader's interest and provide greater clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to address any inaccuracies in your grammar and spelling. For example, 'qualificaiton' should be 'qualification' and 'sublects' should be 'subjects.' Additionally, ensure each sentence contributes to the overall argument and avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your stance while setting up and summarizing the discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your argument and helps illustrate your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: