Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give an opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

this

age and day, becoming a global citizen plays a vital role in our society.

While

some people claim that learning about other

subjects

in addition

to their main

subjects

is a necessary program in university, others believe that they should focus on studying for a qualification

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

This

essay will delve into both sides before showing my agreement with the former opinion. On the one hand, there is no denying that those who advocate for dedicating all their time and attention to studying for a

qualificaiton

Correct your spelling

qualification

have valid reasons for their stance. The

noticable

Correct your spelling

noticeable

reason is that specialization allows

students

to acquire in-depth

knowledge

in their major. When devoting significant effort to their main

sublects

Correct your spelling

subjects

students

can understand

these theory

Change the determiner

this theory

these theories

show examples

throughly

Correct your spelling

thoroughly

. The profound

knowledge

paves the way for their research opportunities , specialized career

path

Fix the agreement mistake

paths

show examples

and

recognization

Correct your spelling

recognition

show examples

as experts in their fields.

For instance

, sophomore or junior

students

medical

Correct article usage

the medical

show examples

industry

alway

Correct your spelling

always

participate in scientific research in their majors in university in order to have experience and

certificate

Fix the agreement mistake

certificates

show examples

That

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

are advantages for them when working in

hospital

Add an article

a hospital

the hospital

show examples

or continuing

study

master's program.

On the other hand

, it is

also

undeniable that learning

undeniable

Change the adjective

undeniably

show examples

that learning related

knowledge

outside of the major field of

study

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

show examples

Firstly

, exploring diverse

disci

Correct your spelling

disc

foster

Wrong verb form

fosters

show examples

intellectual understanding of the world. It promotes critical thinking, creativity and interdisciplinary problem-solving skills, which are highly valued in today's complex and interconnected society.

For example

, a student majoring in computer science who takes courses in psychology may gain insights into human

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and design more user-friendly software interfaces.

Addtionally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, learning about other

subjects

can provide

students

with a well-rounded education that equips them with transferable skills, enabling them to adapt to a rapidly changing job market. In conclusion,

while

focusing on

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

for a qualification may be advantageous to a certain degree, I espouse the notion that university

students

should expand their

knowledge

by studying

subjects

beyond their primary fields of

study

. By

acquire

Change the form of the verb

acquiring

show examples

a diverse range of

study

, they can develop a comprehensive perspective

deeper

Correct word choice

and deeper

show examples

knowledge

and expand their social relationship.

Submitted by ntl250605 on Thu Sep 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your essay, aim for a clearer logical structure. Avoid repetition and try to use varied vocabulary to express similar ideas. This will help maintain the reader's interest and provide greater clarity.

task achievement

Make sure to address any inaccuracies in your grammar and spelling. For example, 'qualificaiton' should be 'qualification' and 'sublects' should be 'subjects.' Additionally, ensure each sentence contributes to the overall argument and avoid redundancy.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your stance while setting up and summarizing the discussion.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your argument and helps illustrate your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give an opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries have now banned smoking in public places. Some people feel that government should ban smoking entirely. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?