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Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#two #show #world #energy #consumption #electricity #generation #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about how
distrubuted
Correct your spelling
distributed
 the consumed
energy
 and generated
electricity
 in the all world.
Overall
,
while
 the highest
energy
consumption
 source was oil, it can be clearly seen that the majority of
electricity
provided
Add a missing verb
was provided
show examples
 by coal. It is obvious that the proportion of consumed oil was five
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 greater than generated by oil distribution.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the percentage of coal
consumption
 is nearly 15% less than the
distrubiton
Correct your spelling
distribution
 of coal for
electricty
Correct your spelling
electricity
 generation.
Whereas
 there was
category
Add an article
a category
show examples
 which name was Combustible and Renewable& Waste in total
energy
consumption
, there was no
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
category in
electricity
 production.
In addition
,
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
 between
consumption
 and generation by hydro was
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
, which were 2.2 and 16.1 respectively.
On the other hand
, the proportion of consumed and generated by gas sources are nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. Nuclear
energy
 was one of the less consumed
energy
;
however
Add a comma
,
show examples
the effect of nuclear
energy
 when
generated
Wrong verb form
generating
show examples
electricity
 was noteworthy with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 portion of 15.7%.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, electricity, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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