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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #center #redevelopment #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
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The below diagram shows information about the
university
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's
sports
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centre
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 now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
Overall
Linking Words
, the layout shows the
university
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's current
sports
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centre
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 and their future plans to add some new facilities to the
sports
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centre
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 like a dance studio, cafe, and changing room like
this
Linking Words
 the
university
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 going to add after redevelopment. Currently, the
university
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sports
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centre
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 has a gym, a seating room, a reception, a 25m swimming pool, a changing room and two outdoor courts. So, the
university
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 decided to reconstruct its
sports
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 club for the
students
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 which covers all four directions that can attract all the
students
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 to the
sports
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 club and
also
Linking Words
 the
students
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 can join the
sports
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 club as they wish. The future plan for the
university
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 is to add a leisure pool, a
sports
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 shop, a cafe, a
sports
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 hall, two dance studios including three changing rooms with wider space for the
sports
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students
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 and
also
Linking Words
 an extension of the gym and the outdoor courts were removed for the extension of a
sports
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centre
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 that covers all the directions to attract the
students
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.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that each point follows naturally from the one before. Consider using more signposting phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear conclusion that summarises the main points and reinforces the overall message.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and comparisons within the body paragraphs to fully support your main points.
task achievement
Clear introduction and overview of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at summarising the main features and making comparisons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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