The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart above demonstrates the proportion of
females
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and
males
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who did physical activity regularly of distinct ages , inhabiting
in
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apply
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Australia, in 2010. In general,
females
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are more physically active than all ages of
males
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, except for that of the youngest
group
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.
In addition
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, the highest figure of men doing regular exercises can be seen in the
age
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group
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of 15 to 24,
while
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that of women was shown in the
age
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group
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of 45 to 54. Looking first at the youngest
group
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.
Although
Linking Words
52.8% of
males
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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regular exercises, only 47.7% of 15-to-24-year-old
females
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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the same things.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
differences
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between the
two
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genders in
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age
Add an article
the age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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of 25 to 34 and 55 to 64 are larger than that of the oldest
age
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group
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: 42.2% of men and 48.9%of women for the former
group
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, 46.7% of
males
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and 47.1% of
females
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for the latter one. Noticeably, the
differences
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between the
two
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genders of the over-65-year-old
group
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maintain the biggest one. Moving on to
two
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groups
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the
differences
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between the
two
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genders are bigger than 10%: the 35-to-44-year-old
group
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and
45-to-54-year-old
Correct article usage
the 45-to-54-year-old
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group
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respectively. The
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differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
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men and women in the first
group
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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13%, which exceeds that of the other
group
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, approximately 10%.
Submitted by chaing12340627 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males, group, age, differences, two with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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