IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You work for a clothing company. Your company has a new style of coat.Write an email to a magazine in about 150–200 words. Tell the magazine about the new style of coat. Your email should do the following things: Provide information about your company. Provide information about the new style of coat. Suggest who might buy this coat and why. Invite the staff at the magazine to write about the coat.

#work #company #style #coat #email #magazine #information #staff
Hello Team, I am writing to provide more details about the new
coat
 style
that is
 available in all our stores in Canada and ask for your feedback after you try it on.
Firstly
, some background about the corporation. Leonnisa is a large women´s clothes company with more than 100 stores throughout Canada; it is recognized for its exclusive and trendy designs. Allow me to describe some unique details of the brand-new
coat
 style. It comes in black and brown colour; it was made using a new soft eco-friendly cotton material, allowing you to feel warmer and
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 during the winter.
Moreover
, the design is vanguard influenced by modern trends. In terms of target, women between 25 to 35 years old may consider it as a fashion option
while
 some older ones might perceive the vanguardist style too risky.
However
, any woman who wants to keep warm, and trendy could wear it.
Finally
, I would greatly appreciate it if all the magazine staff could share their personal opinion of the
coat
 through a survey available on the website. We will ship a
coat
 as a gift for you to try it. Thanks in advance for your cooperation, Mary Liu.
Submitted by mariajoser3 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a more formal introduction and conclusion to the email to enhance the overall structure and coherence.
task achievement
Be sure to elaborate slightly more on why the new coat can be appealing to your target market to strengthen the argument, such as mentioning how it fits current fashion trends or customer reviews.
task achievement
The email effectively provides detailed information about the company and the new coat, fulfilling the main requirements of the task.
coherence cohesion
Clear and easy-to-follow structure with logical flow between paragraphs, making it reader-friendly.
task achievement
Uses appropriate language for a business email and successfully maintains a polite and professional tone.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • eco-friendly
  • stylish
  • demographic
  • seasonality
  • current trends
  • unique selling points
  • functionality
  • water-resistant
  • call to action
  • fashion-forward
  • prestigious
What to do next:
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