Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Researchers have found that
people
who have no
job
are suffering from some physical and mental health problems.
Therefore
,
governments
should vary
job
opportunities
for jobless citizens.
This
essay agrees with the statement because it is certain that
people
should
work
and earn money to survive and live healthily.
Moreover
,
governments
should allocate more funding to reduce unemployment rates. In the modern world,
people
ought to
work
to survive and live in comfort.
Otherwise
, they cannot meet their requirements in social life. Individuals should follow some routines and have some tasks to complete. Every task individuals complete makes them happy and gives meaning to their lives.
Otherwise
, they feel useless and
this
feeling makes them sick.
Moreover
, mental weakness causes physical health problems. They should break
this
repeating cycle by finding a
job
and working on it.
On the other hand
,
governments
should enhance
job
opportunities
.
Thus
, they should make some deals with companies and factories.
Furthermore
,
governments
offer subsidies and tax reductions to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies to find new
job
opportunities
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployed citizens.
Besides
,
governments
may set up new projects to increase
job
opportunities
.
People
always want to
work
in the jobs they are interested in, so
governments
should ask unemployed
people
their willing. In conclusion,
people
without a
job
cannot survive in modern life.
Therefore
, they have to find a
job
and
work
on them.
Otherwise
, they cannot find a place for themselves in society. The lack of social life and money makes them sick.
On the other hand
,
governments
should make some agreements with companies and factories to provide more
job
opportunities
.
In addition
, they should find out
people
's willingness and vary
opportunities
according to
these
willings
Correct your spelling
killings
.
Submitted by a.muratdemircan on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported by detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument. General statements need concrete evidence to be compelling.
task achievement
Develop your main points more comprehensively. While the essay addresses key aspects, it would be stronger with a more thorough explanation and argumentation for each point.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure that transitions between different parts of the essay are smooth and coherent.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief summary of your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument. This helps in maintaining a strong structure and coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets a strong premise for the essay by stating your position and what the essay will cover.
coherence cohesion
The language used is generally clear and effective, making your points easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
There are effective transitions and logical progression in most parts of the essay, which aids in readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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