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Band 6.5

The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.

The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.
#line #proportion #employees #nations #france #afghanistan #korea #decades
The line graph illustrates the difference between the
number
 of worker women in the US, France, Afghanistan, and Korea over 20 years
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
 from 1985.
Overall
, it is clear to see that the
number
 of female employees
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in four countries during the period except for
afghanistan
Change the capitalization
Afghanistan
show examples
. On the one hand, at the beginning of 1985, the
number
 of women who were working in
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 and Korea had
incresed
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increased
 dramatically to
reached
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reach
show examples
 about 60% and 35%
respectivelly
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respectively
.
While
 in France, it decreased slightly from 1985 to 1990
then
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
began to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
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significantilly
Correct your spelling
significantly
.  On the
onther
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other
 hand, Afghanistan was the only country that
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the minimum
number
 of women who had
working
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worked
show examples
 among these four countries. At the start of 1985, the
number
 of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
wroking
Correct your spelling
working
 was approximately 30%
then
 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a slight
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak in 1995 to
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 about 35%.
Moreover
, the line graph shows that there was a sharp
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 to reach a trough
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
.
Submitted by rashaalbalawi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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