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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The pie charts compare the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
three
Use synonyms
 types of
nutrients
Use synonyms
 (sodium, saturated fat, and added
sugar
Use synonyms
) in typical meals
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
 breakfast,
lunch
Use synonyms
,
dinner
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, and snacks. These
nutrients
Use synonyms
 can be unhealthy if consumed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
three
Use synonyms
nutrients
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, except added
sugar
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, are mostly consumed during
dinner
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 and
lunch
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, added
sugar
Use synonyms
 is highly found in snacks.
Dinner
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 and
lunch
Use synonyms
 are the typical meals which have the highest level of
three
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nutrients
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. In terms of
dinner
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, the
proportion
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 of sodium, saturated fat, and added
sugar
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are accounting
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
 for 43%, 37%, and 23% respectively.
While
Linking Words
 in
lunch
Use synonyms
, the
proportion
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 is around 10% lower than
dinner
Use synonyms
, at just below 30%, 26%, and just below one-fifth, respectively. In terms of the other typical meals, breakfast has the lowest
proportion
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 of
three
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nutrients
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 which constitute around 15% each.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 has almost half of
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 in snacks at 42%, sodium and saturated fat
make up
Join the words
makeup
show examples
 35%.
Submitted by averinasandra on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, three, nutrients, sugar, lunch, dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • average percentage
  • distribution
  • consumption
  • meal times
  • excessive
  • implications
  • dietary
  • intake
  • macronutrients
  • saturated fats
  • sugars
  • sodium
  • unhealthy
  • proportion
  • variation
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