The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The presented bar chart illustrates the portion of British inhabitants' donations to charity services by means of 5
age
ranges in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
, the highest donation was presented by the middle ages which 36-50
group
in 1990
while
the 51-65 team in 2010.
Moreover
, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
glance that, there are
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
patterns shown in both periods. In both years, younger people did not tend to donate to charity services since that
age
group
presented the lowest ratio.
in addition
to that, in 2010, both the middle-aged
age
team and the eldest persons donated the same portion to charity activities. Even though,
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
group
's contribution decreased in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
, in the same
group
preference has been changed in 2010
due to
the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it remarked the peak from the 51-60
age
group
.
While
comparing the data, it can be highlighted the gradual increase from the 18 to 50 years
group
and after that contribution has been declined.
By contrast
, in 2010, it is depicted that the enhancing period has grown up to 65 years.
Submitted by dilkiapsara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable donations
  • age range/bracket/group
  • percentage (%)
  • 20-year period
  • British people
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • significant change
  • donation patterns
  • remained stable
  • highest/lowest
  • observe
  • compare
  • summarize
  • comment on
  • relevant features
What to do next:
Look at other essays: