Some university students want to learn about other subjects, in addition to their main subjects. All this believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these wheels and give your own opinion

Some
students
want to study other subjects apart from their compulsory subjects. Some people believe that
students
should spend all their
time
and effort to achieve a
university
qualification
. I personally believe that
students
should concentrate on both because achieving
knowledge
outside their educational
qualification
is important. Achieving
knowledge
outside
university
Change preposition
of university
show examples
education
is very important. It helps
students
to learn numerous
skills
and
knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and prepares them for their future. Those
students
who earn
knowledge
outside their
education
qualification
, get jobs quickly.
Moreover
, nowadays, only
university
quaification
Correct your spelling
qualification
is not enough to get a
job
.
Therefore
, it is needed to achieve some extra
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
to secure a
job
.
For instance
,
students
in India always prefer to achieve some extra qualifications
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
their
education
. I believe that earning
knowledge
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
university
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
is very important.
In contrast
, those
students
who invest
time
only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
gaining
education
have more
time
for self-care. They can relax, have a good sleep at night, or practice their hobbies, which is good for their mental and physical wellbeing.
However
, those
students
who only spend
time
on gaining educational
qualification
, cannot compete well with their peers. In today's competitive world, every
job
agency requires some
skills
and
knowledge
in their employees, and if
students
cannot achieve that in their student lives, securing a
job
for them will become tough. In conclusion, every student should gain some
skills
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
their
qualification
in student life. It helps them to build their future. Learning
knowledge
and gaining
skills
help them to get a
job
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Aim to clarify the essay’s position more clearly in the introduction and ensure that this position is consistently supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples, possibly drawing from personal experience, studies, or well-known references to support your points more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas, and by defining clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is supported by relevant details and examples.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which showcases your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, which helps provide a clear structure to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas discussed in the essay, reinforcing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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