Avarege minutes men and women spent on unpaid work and leisure activities

The provided table gives information on the typical amount of time that both gender counterparts spend on leisure
activities
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, namely sports, reading and multimedia resources like TV,video and radio,
while
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the bar chart represents household
activities
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for
females
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and
males
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, which include cooking and washing, shopping,repair,clothes washing and ironing.The units are measured in numbers. Generally speaking, it is evident that more women are involved in leisure and household
activities
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,except repairing. First and foremost, it is noticeable that
males
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spend 137
minutes
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on TV,video and radio,
whilst
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females
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118.
Additionally
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,
due to
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some circumstances, less than 20
minutes
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were spent by both gender representatives for reading.
Furthermore
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, in order to keep healthy, men spend 15
minutes
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for sport,
whilst
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women only 11
minutes
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. With regards to household
activities
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, approximately 70
minutes
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were spent cooking and washing,
whilst
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men only 30
minutes
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.
Moreover
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, in order to gain new products and items
females
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spend half of the hour and neatly 25
minutes
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males
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of males
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for shopping.
However
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,
males
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spend a quarter of an hour repairing something at home,
whilst
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females
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spend only 5
minutes
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.
Subsequently
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,
females
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spend half an hour washing clothes and ironing on a daily basis,
while
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males
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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solely
Correct your spelling
only
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10
minutes
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on
this
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.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a generally complete response to the task, clearly addressing both unpaid work and leisure activities for men and women. However, a conclusion summarizing your findings would enhance your essay's overall coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify and tighten certain sentences for greater clarity. For example, 'due to some circumstances' is vague and can be more specific.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between points. For example, starting with words like 'Secondly' or 'Moreover' can enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. However, splitting your content into more paragraphs could make it easier to read and follow.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job presenting specific numerical data to support your points. This provides strong evidence and makes your argument compelling.
task achievement
There is a clear distinction between the two categories of activities (leisure and household). This helps in maintaining clarity and focus in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Good use of comparative phrases such as 'more than', 'less than', 'whilst', and 'however'. This enhances the clarity and logical flow of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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