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Band 5.5

In order to learn about the way other people in the world live, it is better to look at film or video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#people #world #film #video #records #documents #idea
From
past
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the past
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 to today, humans in one
arear
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area
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 are curious about the lives of their
counterpart
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counterparts
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. And today, we have more different methods to know their lifestyles, including films, videos, books and so on, but some people hold the view that
eletronic
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electronic
 approaches are better than traditional ones. I tend to disagree with
the
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this
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 view. It is
undenied
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undeniable
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 that watching videos is easier to impress viewers.
That is
 because films are more vivid than printed books with
help
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the help
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 of different stimulations, namely visual and auditory senses, which
making
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make
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 them feel that they are experiencing the same stories and immerse themselves into what they are enjoying.
However
, it is important to consider the limitations of these visual sources. They are often subjective, reflecting the filmmaker’s perspective, and may not present a balanced view of the culture and lifestyle being portrayed.
Furthermore
, they are often edited for time constraints or dramatic
effect
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effects
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, which can lead to oversimplification or distortion of reality. Obviously, written documents
also
 have unique and
spontanious
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spontaneous
 strengths.
Although
 physical books only possess seemingly
monotous
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monotonous
 words, they can spark readers’ imagination to a larger extent. And those pictures thought by themselves are more powerful than those in videos.
Though
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However
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, no one can guarantee the living pictures that are imagined
according to
 written documents are consistent with
the
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apply
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reality. In conclusion, both ways have their own
befenits
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benefits
 and drawbacks.
Therefore
, a balanced and blended approach, utilizing both visual media and written documents, is likely the most effective way to learn about the way other people in the world live. So, I do not agree simply
to conclude
 that newly emerging ways are better.
Submitted by 1378468145 on

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task achievement
Try to include specific examples or case studies to strengthen your points. For instance, mention a particular film or book and how it represents or fails to represent a culture.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and use linking words more effectively to enhance fluidity between your ideas. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of films and written documents in learning about different cultures.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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