Your apartment manager is asking your opinion about the swimming pool in your building. Currently, your building has a swimming pool, but it is really old and needs to be renovated. Some tenants prefer to have a small gym instead of a pool. The apartment manager has asked you to complete an opinion survey. Choose the option that you prefer. Why do you prefer your choice? Explain the reasons for your choice.

#apartment #manager #pool #tenants #gym #survey #option #choice

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Personally, I consider that keeping the swimming

pool

will be the most suitable option for the building.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

having a gym is a good idea, it will probably be more costly than keeping the swimming

pool

which is already built.

Firstly

, implementing the

pool

maintenance will imply a minor budget

instead

of constructing a new building space

such

as a fitness room.

Secondly

, the swimming

pool

is a demure social space for families and people of different ages allowing them to relax, to interact, and to work out.

Hence

this

facility fosters a sense of belonging in the community.

Thirdly

, as a resident, I consider

this

option to be more versatile since it allows residents to get health benefits, to enjoy with their families and friends regardless of the season as it is located indoors, and has easy access.

According to

what was aforementioned,

this

is my opinion, but I will support whichever decision the residents would make. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express my views.

Submitted by mariajoser3 on Fri Sep 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

You should clearly introduce your main points and tie them back to your overall opinion for better coherence.

task achievement

Providing more specific examples and evidence to support your reasons would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

You have articulated a clear opinion and provided several reasons to support it.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion is polite and considerate, acknowledging other residents' opinions and showing readiness to support the community.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

169 words

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