Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nation in such area. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
#improvement #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #nation #area
The status of any
country
can be easily identified through the different indicators of the nation where health, education and economic trade are some of the main factorsthat
represent the Correct your spelling
factors that
country
's portfolio. It is undeniable that support
from developed countries
to underdeveloped and developing countries
can have a significant improvement in the world. In this
essay, the reasons why low economic countries
should be unveiled and the visible way will be expressed.
In my opinion, support
from the developed countries
can rapidly increase the positive improvement in health, education and overall
economy of the underdeveloped countries
. Firstly
, financial funds and non-financial support
from healthy countries
can minimise the cost of the poor country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
where
developed Correct word choice
whereas
countries
don't have to spend money on these facilities as they will be funded. This
is because the richer nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
itself
segregate the Correct pronoun usage
themselves
fund
for Fix the agreement mistake
funds
the
Correct article usage
apply
donation
and Fix the agreement mistake
donations
helping
other nations.
Wrong verb form
help
As a result
, poorer countries
also
can be facilitated with the help of donating and fundedcountries
which helps to increase the living standard of the
developed Correct your spelling
funded countries
countries
. Apart from that, supporting in trade of poorer can directly increase the economic conditions of the nation and it can be done through the different agreementsbetween
the nations like charging less tax and providing duty-free
products to that particular Correct your spelling
agreements between
agreement between
country
. As a consequence
, the poorer countrycan
improve their condition of the Correct your spelling
country can
country
and save some budget which can be utilized for different purposes. All in all
it can have better Add a comma
all,
essentials
things Fix the agreement mistake
essential
Correct pronoun usage
that is
is
beneficial for the whole world.
To elucidate, equal opportunities for health , education and economy are the basic things which are needed for every individual Correct subject-verb agreement
are
of
each Change preposition
in
country
across the globe so we need to encourage everyone to support
each other for the development of the whole globe.Submitted by ali.gyawali on
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task response
Your introduction is generally clear, but it could be made stronger by clearly stating your position on the issue. Try to avoid vague statements and make sure to directly address the question asked. This will help the reader understand your viewpoint from the start.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, there are areas where cohesion could be improved. For example, some of your sentences and ideas feel a bit disjointed or abruptly introduced. Transition words or phrases such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'moreover' can help maintain the logical flow.
task response
You mentioned several positive impacts that support from richer nations can have on poorer countries, but these points would be stronger with more specific examples. Try to include concrete examples or case studies to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph is a good summary of your main points, but it would benefit from a stronger restatement of your position and main ideas. This helps to reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task response
Your essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that detract from the clarity of your ideas. Proofreading for grammar and clarity before submitting will improve readability and overall impression.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This not only showcases your language proficiency but also makes the essay more engaging for the reader.
overall
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for discussing the importance of health, education, and trade in the development of poorer nations. This provides a good foundation for your argument.
task response
You have acknowledged the potential benefits of support from richer to poorer nations, which is a balanced approach in discussing the topic. This demonstrates your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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