Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

There is an ongoing debate
whether
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about whether
show examples
visitors should follow local
people
's habits. Some
people
believe that visitors should obey the local lifestyle,
while
other
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others
show examples
argue that the host country should be more inclusive to foreigners.
This
essay agrees with the first view.
Follow
Wrong verb form
Following
show examples
the local customs and behaviour is a basic way of showing respect to the local residents. Different places have different cultures, including their language, lifestyle,
religon
Correct your spelling
religion
, and so on. If foreigners do not follow these, they might be violating local taboos. The locals' daily life would
also
be bothered by these behaviours, and
this
is really impolite to the local
people
.
For example
, some tourists bring
alcohal
Correct your spelling
alcohol
and drink it on the street when they
treavel
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travel
a
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to a
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muslin country, which can really influence the locals' life.
However
, some individuals strongly believe that the host country should welcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
with different cultural
background
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backgrounds
show examples
,
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apply
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because the whole world is a big family and it is important to allow different ethnic
people
to communicate and show their own customs to others. Despite
this
, it does not mean that we should show other
people
our culture and lifestyle in their land.
Also
because of
this
, as visitors, obeying the
locals
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local's
locals'
show examples
habits and laws could motivate us to better understand
another ethnic groups
Replace the adjective
another ethnic group
other ethnic groups
show examples
.
For instance
, it might be a great pity if we do not go to
pub
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the pub
a pub
show examples
to read
newspaper
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the newspaper
a newspaper
show examples
with local
eldly
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
and do not try fish and chips with a pint of beer
in
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at
show examples
the
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apply
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dinner time when we
traveling
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travelling
show examples
the UK. In conclusion, tourists should follow the local
people
's customs.
Although
being more welcome and inclusive to
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
could be
benefical
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beneficial
to cultural communication, obeying and experiencing
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their life habits is
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
way to show our respect to local residents and to understand their culture.
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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more coherent logical structure. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are fully supported with specific details and examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it clearer.
task achievement
Pay attention to language accuracy. Address minor grammatical issues and spelling errors for a better overall impression.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task and clearly discusses both views regarding the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the one about tourists drinking alcohol in Muslim countries, supports your arguments well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mutual understanding
  • reverence
  • cultural clashes
  • peaceful coexistence
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experience
  • cultural identity
  • enrich
  • pluralistic society
  • cultural exchange
  • tolerance
  • flexibility
  • international relations
  • global understanding
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