IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #school #subjects #today’s #world #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's
world
, people debate whether
History
 is more important to teach in school or if other subjects
such
 as
Science
 and
Technology
 are more important. There isn't one specific answer to
this
 argument. I believe that
Science
 and
Technology
 are more important nowadays.
However
, some of the advantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay. Starting with
History
, it is claimed that knowing about the past would help students
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
foster a different perspective toward the problems they faced in their lives.
For example
, studying the
history
 of how microscopes were invented may give students an extended prospect that problems can lead to
world
-changing inventions.
However
, with these fast developments in the
world
 of
technology
 and the widespread use of the internet, it is necessary to teach adolescents how to deal with
this
 technological environment.
Furthermore
, it is impossible to live in
such
 a
world
 without knowing how to use the high-tech supplies around us.
Moreover
, the discoveries in all
science
 fields are incredibly fast
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they leave people behind effortlessly.
Thus
, it is crucial to include
Science
 in subjects that are taught in school, preventing young learners from
not acquisition of
Verb problem
acquiring
show examples
 new achievements in
science
. In conclusion,
History
 may be essential but not as much as
science
 and
Technology
, as we live in a
world
 full of robots and
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 new discoveries in
science
. It can be beneficial to put all
history
,
science
 and
technology
 among the subjects students study but I believe that
Science
 and
Technology
 should have the largest share.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples within your arguments to support your points clearly. For instance, when discussing the importance of History, you could mention historical events that shaped modern governance or technology.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a slightly more elaborated conclusion that reinforces your arguments strongly. Summarize the key points from both perspectives before stating your final opinion.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints of the given topic clearly and provides a balanced discussion. It is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay, with each point being connected smoothly to the next. This ensures that the reader can follow the argument easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: