The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full-time and part-time education in 2006.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups  who studied in Australia for full-time and part-time education in 2006.
This
Bar chart illustrates the percentage of students that have been
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
for full and
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
, the chart is divided by age groups and genders. For the
males
Change to a genitive case
male's
males'
show examples
side,
Full
Add a hyphen
Full-time
show examples
time
students rate
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
12% for 15-19
ages
and reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its peak
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
40% for 20-24,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
get much lower for 25-29 and 30+ it gets as low as only 8%,
hoever
Correct your spelling
however
for the
Part
Add a hyphen
Part-time
show examples
time
student is kind of steady in comparison, it moves between 6 to 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
along the different
ages
.
Moreover
, in the second side of the illustration, which represents the females,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
, but has a
little
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
changes, for
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
,
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
is quite higher in the young
ages
, but
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
is lower in the older students.
Therefore
, the
ages
15-24 tend to have
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
education for
bith
Correct your spelling
both
genders,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
hand, 25-30+
ages
prefer
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
.
Submitted by aojubair1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words part, time, ages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!