In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Good
communication
is often
honored
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honoured
show examples
as the vital essence for
companies
to
success
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succeed
show examples
across the world,
while
some people believe that factors like the
workers
' talents and abilities are more contributive to the development of a business.
This
paper will assess and evaluate different claims and
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
regarding these thoughts,
as well as
providing
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provide
show examples
some personal insights
in
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into
show examples
the topic.
Firstly
, effective
connunications
Correct your spelling
communications
communication
are critical for business firms which are complex in scale and structure.
For instance
, Microsoft Teams is an online application with over 60 million active users, with employees from different
companies
sent
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
feedback to the tech tycoon that the application was essential for the development of their firms. With the application,
workers
and managers from different positions and shifts can set up chat groups and communicate instructions and ideas instantly and effectively, and I am convinced that successful cooperations would adapt
communication
platforms like Microsoft Teams or similar to foster
communication
between
workers
and supervisors.
Furthermore
, many cooperations have invested and spent time on team building, with the main goal
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
to foster the understanding and exchange of thoughts between management and frontline colleagues. Owning a variety of the world's most popular social media platforms, billions of dollars have been invested by Meta to set up its
headquarter
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headquarters
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Silicon Valley, with
communal
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a communal
show examples
canteen, gym and arcade
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
built in the complex where all managers and
employers
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the equal rights to access and use these facilities. I believe these facilities will act as hubs for
effective
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the effective
show examples
exchange of ideas and thoughts between
employers
from different levels and play a vital role
on
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in
show examples
Meta's global
success
.
While
many
effort
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efforts
show examples
and investments were poured by successful
companies
in the world to foster inter-positional communications, many people have argued that the
success
of a company
are
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is
show examples
often driven by
talanted
Correct your spelling
talented
individuals who are productive and powering
success
.
However
, without effective
communication
between
managements
Fix the agreement mistake
management
show examples
and talented
workers
, I am certain that innovative ideas and plans initiated by
employers
would be more difficult to be expressed, entrusted and
implemmented
Correct your spelling
implemented
by the manager, hindering a company's positive progress. All in all, I believe communications between
employers
and employees have to be effective in favouring a company's
success
. Without effective
communication
channels, team building and opportunities for idea exchange, it is difficult for
companies
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
productive in boosting their business insights and projects, even
their
Correct word choice
if their
show examples
employees are talented
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task response
To enhance your task response, ensure that all points in the prompt are addressed with balanced arguments. You provided a strong stance on the importance of communication, but you could elaborate further on the opposing viewpoint regarding talent and ability, to strengthen your evaluation.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on improving the transitions between paragraphs and ideas to ensure a smoother flow. Additionally, correcting minor errors such as 'connunications' should be considered ('communications'). Also, pay attention to plurals and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'cooperations' should be 'corporations', 'employers' should be 'employees')
task response
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas that align well with the essay prompt. Your main points are well-supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The conclusion nicely summarizes the points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication channels
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • workplace harmony
  • issue resolution
  • escalate
  • organizational culture
  • motivation levels
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • performance evaluations
  • fairness
  • transparency
  • criteria
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