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Band 6.5

the pie charts shows the comparison of differetn kinds of energy production of france in 1995 adn 2005

the pie charts shows the comparison of differetn kinds of energy production of france in 1995 adn 2005
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The Pie graphs illustrate the contrast
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 different categories of
energy
Use synonyms
 production (
Gas
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
, coal, nuclear and others)
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 France in 1995 and ten years later.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
gas
Use synonyms
,
coals
Fix the agreement mistake
coal
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, nuclear and other unnamed
source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 increased slightly.
Gas
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, coal and
Use synonyms
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
 were the dominant
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 in 1995,
however
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
 usage
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased in 2005. The percentage of
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal was 29,63 and 29,80 in 1995 with a minor increase of 0,68% and 1,13% in 2005 respectively.
This
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 makes a total of more than 60% of the total amount of
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 production. The nuclear and other sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 increased by around double from 6,4% to 10,10% and 4,9% to 9,10% respectively in the given period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
petro
Change the capitalization
Petro
show examples
 had a significant decrease of just around 10% in 2005 which
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
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 it to a total of 19,55%.
Thus
Linking Words
,
petro
Use synonyms
 is only a fifth of the total proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 sources in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, petro, source with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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