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Band 4

The bar CHART below shows the proportions of english men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person househoulds.

The bar CHART below shows the proportions of english men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person househoulds.
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The two illustrations given show the proportion of males and females belonging to different
age
Use synonyms
 groups living alone in England in the year 2011 and the number of
bedrooms
Use synonyms
 in houses with one resident.
Overall
Linking Words
, it seems that more men were living alone until the
age
Use synonyms
 of 50 years, and after that, the trend
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 to more
women
Use synonyms
 being the only ones residing in English homes in the year 2011.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the pie chart shows that the majority living alone have two
bedrooms
Use synonyms
, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very few single-person homes have five or more rooms.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the bar chart illustrates the
age
Use synonyms
 and gender-wise distribution of
people
Use synonyms
 living alone in England in the year 2011. Analysis shows that most
people
Use synonyms
 start living alone after the
age
Use synonyms
 of 15 years, and in the first half of life, more men (approximately 50-65%) than
women
Use synonyms
 are alone.
However
Linking Words
, there is a noticeable change in the trend in the second half of life, where it is seen that more females are living independently than males, and the proportion steadily increases to more than 70%
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 in the
age
Use synonyms
 bracket 85 years and above.
To conclude
Linking Words
, on average, more
women
Use synonyms
 are seen to be living alone than men.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the pie chart compares the number of
bedrooms
Use synonyms
 in one-person households.
People
Use synonyms
 with two
bedrooms
Use synonyms
 account for around 35.4%,
whereas
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 with one and three
bedrooms
Use synonyms
 are close to 28% and 30%, respectively.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with four and five
bedrooms
Use synonyms
 are much less, only 5.4% and 1.4%, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, bedrooms, women, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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