IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graph illustrates the growth rate of the proportion of
citizen’s
Check wording
citizens’
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in four countries, including
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia
between
Punctuation problem
, between
show examples
 1970 and
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 forecast in 2030 and 2040. As can be seen, the four figures experienced a significant growth in
half
Correct determiner usage
the first half
show examples
 of
century
Correct article usage
the century
show examples
 and absolutely the same trend in the next 20 years.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some changes in positions over the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the information, in 1970,
Correct article usage
the Philippines’s
show examples
Philippines’s
Check wording
Philippines’
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 living in cities accounted for the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
 percentage
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was about 32%, followed by Malaysia with merely lower than 2%. In the next 30 years, they constantly switched positions with
equivalent
Correct article usage
an equivalent
show examples
 increasing proportion. From 2010 to 2020, Malaysia’s data continuously increased and reached the peak at approximately 75% and is predicted to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continue to rise in 2030 and 2040.
Contrast
Change preposition
In contrast
show examples
 with Malaysia,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 underwent a decrease from 1990 to 2010 and gradually went up in 2020,
also
Linking Words
 next 20 years. Thailand stayed in the moderate level in 1970, which was nearly 20%,
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated between 1980 and 2020 and was forecasted to rise slowly in the future.
While
Linking Words
 Indonesia
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest point of
Correct determiner usage
its citizen’s
show examples
citizen’s
Check wording
citizen
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in 1970, at 13%, it slightly increased over
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
period
Correct word choice
entire period
show examples
; and met Thailand’s percentage in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
along with
Linking Words
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 of Indonesian living in cities was still predicted to be the lowest figure in 2040.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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