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The graphs below shows the percentage of the British adults drinking more than the recommended guidelines on at least one day week in 2004,and the average alcohol consumption of children in the UK aged 11 - 15,who drank alcohol in the last week (1990-2004).

The graphs below shows the percentage of the British adults drinking more than the recommended guidelines on at least one day week in 2004,and the average alcohol consumption of children in the UK aged 11 - 15,who drank alcohol in the last week (1990-2004).
The following graphs illustrate the frequency of UK adults drinking more than the recommended guidelines of at least one day per week in 2004,and the mean
alcohol
Use synonyms
 consumption of young adults in Britain aged between 11 and 15,who drank
alcohol
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 week over the period of 14
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the quality of adults drinking and the number of children's
alcohol
Use synonyms
 consumption are different.
However
Linking Words
, the category of male accounts for the peaks of the graph and the category of female touched the bottom of the chart in both of them. In 2004,the highest frequency of British people drinking more than recommended accounts for 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 old men and women, but males a little bit more than females category with almost 47% (guys)and 39%(ladies).
In addition
Linking Words
, males and females between 25 and 44
years
Use synonyms
 old
also
Linking Words
 have a high percentage with approximately 47% males and little below 28% females.
While
Linking Words
 men aged between 45 and 64 account for 40%,the 45 - 64-year-old women
years
Use synonyms
 old ledy have half of them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, guys and ladies between 65 and overreach the thought of the chart,which accounted for nearly 20%(men) and 5%(women).
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second grid's boys aged between 11 and 15 account for nearly 6 ,
while
Linking Words
 the girls had approximately 5 units by 1990.
Next,
Linking Words
the boys climbed to almost 7 and
then
Linking Words
 skyrocketed to about 11 by 1998. In the same year, the girls
also
Linking Words
 straightly increased to above 8 units .
Similarly
Linking Words
, in the second half of the diagram boy's
alcohol
Use synonyms
 consumption did not significantly change,
while
Linking Words
 girls still grew to 10

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words alcohol, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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