IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The ownership of car should be restricted to one per family in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#ownership #car #traffic #congestion #pollution
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Car ownership limitation for every family is one of the suggested ways to reduce traffic and
air
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 pollution. I completely agree with
this
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 method, and I heartfully believe that in
this
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 way
people
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 could help to have
a
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apply
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better
air
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quality
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 and better
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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, which each one will discuss below. To commence with, modern society demands modern facilities
for
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apply
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per person like personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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, which has
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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negative consequences. Specially, cars have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 prominent role in
air
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 contamination. By banning
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicle ownership, the improvement
of
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in
show examples
air
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quality
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 will be obvious, which in turn,
helps
Wrong verb form
will help
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people
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 to enjoy
a
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apply
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better weather.
For instance
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,
this
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 rule has
executed
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been executed
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 in Tabriz, which now
this
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 city has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
air
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quality
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in contrast
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 with other cities in Iran.
On the other hand
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, less usage of private cars could lead to better physical and mental health. Particularly, if
people
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 try to avoid utilizing public or private transportation, they will increase their activity which could lead to have more healthier body.
Also
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, being active has a great impact on improving mental status specifically anxiety and depression.
For example
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, based on
researches
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research
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,
people
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 who are more active, have less probability
to be
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of being
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 prone to heart disease and depression. In a nutshell, banning rules for car ownership
for improving
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to improve
show examples
air
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quality
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 and less traffic has been suggested.
This
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 method could be beneficial in two ways.
First,
Linking Words
cars are the main
resource
Correct your spelling
source
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 of
air
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 contamination, and decreasing their appliance could be useful. The second point is related to individuals’ mental and physical health, which less usage of vehicles could improve them.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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task achievement
Try to include more relevant examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transitional phrases and linking words could be used more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the environmental benefits and health benefits of restricting car ownership.
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