IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The ownership of car should be restricted to one per family in order to reduce traffic congestion and pollution. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#ownership #car #traffic #congestion #pollution
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Car ownership limitation for every family is one of the suggested ways to reduce traffic and
air
 pollution. I completely agree with
this
 method, and I heartfully believe that in
this
 way
people
 could help to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
air
quality
 and better
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, which each one will discuss below. To commence with, modern society demands modern facilities
for
Change preposition
apply
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per person like personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
, which has
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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negative consequences. Specially, cars have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 prominent role in
air
 contamination. By banning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicle ownership, the improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
air
quality
 will be obvious, which in turn,
helps
Wrong verb form
will help
show examples
people
 to enjoy
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better weather.
For instance
,
this
 rule has
executed
Add a missing verb
been executed
show examples
 in Tabriz, which now
this
 city has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
air
quality
in contrast
 with other cities in Iran.
On the other hand
, less usage of private cars could lead to better physical and mental health. Particularly, if
people
 try to avoid utilizing public or private transportation, they will increase their activity which could lead to have more healthier body.
Also
, being active has a great impact on improving mental status specifically anxiety and depression.
For example
, based on
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
,
people
 who are more active, have less probability
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 prone to heart disease and depression. In a nutshell, banning rules for car ownership
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
air
quality
 and less traffic has been suggested.
This
 method could be beneficial in two ways.
First,
cars are the main
resource
Correct your spelling
source
show examples
 of
air
 contamination, and decreasing their appliance could be useful. The second point is related to individuals’ mental and physical health, which less usage of vehicles could improve them.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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task achievement
Try to include more relevant examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transitional phrases and linking words could be used more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task well by discussing both the environmental benefits and health benefits of restricting car ownership.
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